Alanis

Yesterday I found myself saying “you owe me nothing” and I was reminded of a favorite Alanis Morisette song. When Alanis Morisette came onto the music scene with a screaming vengeance it was hard not to notice. I remember my reaction the first time I heard “You Oughta Know”, it was something like “holy shit”. In a world of simpering female vocalists, finally a woman with literate rage. Being the asshole I am, I naturally dismissed her when the single became huge only to backpedal months later and decide that despite the fact that you couldn’t escape her for a while, she was worthy of all the attention she garnered. I grew to like her the more I saw, I liked her politics, I loved her live, and as a person she was incredibly gracious and unassuming.

I like the raw intensity of her voice and lyrically, I understand her well. The song”Uninvited” was always a favorite, and brilliantly performed.

This song though, a love song to a friend, or a friend song to a lover, it’s hard to know. It speaks of compassion and caring and love with keeping the zen idea of detachment from the result (it’s also been called a really co-dependent song lol). I prefer to think of it as enlightened rather than needy. An ideal.

“You Owe Me Nothing In Return”

I’ll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I’ll hold it
You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of times in your life and I won’t judge it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I’ll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you’ll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I’ll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I’ll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

I bet you’re wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you’re wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet you wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I’ll lose you and I’ll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I’ll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion and I’ll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I’ll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

And the lead track from the same album… some of these are negotiable, but Alanis got it dead on.

“21 Things I Want In A Lover”

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
that it alone does not equate to wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion
but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine, politically aware, and don’t believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
Are you funny a la self-deprecating, like adventure, and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I’m in no hurry; I could wait forever
I’m in no rush cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure In the meantime I’ll live like there’s no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed, more than three times a week, up for being experimental?
Are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Are you not addicted?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover